We meet Jacob the young man as he sets out – Vayetze – to make a life for himself.

His first day offers a hint of things to come. After sunset, he goes to sleep and dreams.

A ladder was set in the earth, and its top reached towards the heavens. Divine messengers are going up and down the ladder. Suddenly, God is standing over Jacob saying, “I am YHWH, God of your ancestors. The land you are lying on I will give to you and your offspring. Your offspring will be like the dust of the land and spread out west, east, north and south, and through you, all the families of the earth will be blessed. I am with you, and I will guard you through every place you go and I will bring you back to this earth, because I will not abandon you, as I vow that I will do what I am talking about.” (Gen 28: 10-15)

Jacob wakes up awestruck by the dream. He names the place Bethel – Beit El, the House of God. And he declares his interpretation of God’s promise by making a vow.

“If God will be with me, and watch over me on the path I am walking, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, and will bring me in peace back to my father’s house, then I will take YHWH as my God.” (Gen 28: 20-21)

This is Jacob’s youthful expectation of God: God should help Jacob meet his personal goals, and provide physical sustenance. If God fulfills Jacob’s expectations, Jacob will believe.

We the readers know what is in store for Jacob: He is clothed and fed – but through years of indentured servitude to his father-in-law. He eventually returns home – just in time to bury his father. God watches over him — as he is exposed to love, disappointment, anger, pride, fear, physical disability, shame, grief, more love, and more grief. Joy comes, finally, when he is 130 years old, and a small fraction of what he has lost is restored to him.

Yet through it all, he dreams of God, has visions of blessing, and, during his small windows of happiness, he makes offerings of gratitude.

When Jacob is 130 years old, his son Yosef arranges an audience with the Pharaoh. Pharaoh asks, “How have the years of your life been?” Jacob answers, “Few and bad.” Yet he has become a master of blessing, and he blesses the Pharaoh twice.

Are Jacob’s expectations of God met? Do they change as he matures, as he suffers, as he processes his experience?

What do you expect from God?

In the last few days, I have asked so many people this question.

They answered, saying: I expect

• Nothing.
• Everything.
• Justice.
• A reliable natural order.
• Strength to deal with life.
• God to recognize me.
• To know what God expects of me.

In these answers, I heard so many different senses of who God is.

• Transcendent Other, who may or may not manifest.
• Judge, the one who balances the scales, maybe even in advance.
• Creator, establishing laws of nature.
• Coach.
• Lover.
• Moral teacher.

The prophet Hosea assures us that this multiplicity is okay with God. Hosea quotes God as saying,

“I spoke to the prophets; I multiplied visions; through the hand of the prophets, I am described in metaphor.” (Hosea 12:11)

We credit Hosea with bringing a radical, beautiful metaphor to Jewish literature: God the lover – not a casual lover, but a committed spouse.

Hosea knows the metaphor of “God the King,” who makes laws and punishes those who break the covenantal treaty. He knows it is a useful metaphor for a prophet. It works well if you want to warn people about the consequences of their actions.

But Hosea also knows the limits of the metaphor. If God’s only desire were for rule-following citizens, God could find or create some new people who would do better. But God doesn’t want to replace the people in whom God is so invested. God wants a good relationship with these people.

God is like the loving, committed spouse. When there is a misunderstanding, an unfulfilled expectation, a rupture, or a breakup, the committed lover doesn’t want a new relationship with whoever can meet the expectation. The committed lover wants a restored, improved, re-negotiated relationship with this specific person.

Hosea often talks about his own difficult marriage as an example. He reflects on his desire to reconcile with his estranged wife, and he imagines that gives him a window into God’s heart.

Of course, the metaphor of God as lover depicts God as one partner in a relationship.  This relationship only works when a person wants to love God back.

Hosea imagines the person who loves God to be a little bit like the middle-aged Jacob. In mid-life Jacob wrestles with a stranger and wins, but he won’t let the stranger go until the stranger reveals the blessing hidden in the fight.

Hosea says poetically that this was not a one-time event in Jacob’s life. Jacob first met God’s messengers at the place he called Beit El, the house of God, where he dreamed of the ladder. After that, Jacob’s whole life was filled with Divine messages and messengers. Over and over again, Jacob would wrestle with them, refusing to accept them with grace. Each time, the messengers would weep. They would beg for Jacob’s grace. And Jacob would return to the metaphorical house of God to find them, and to stay in dialogue with them.  He would not let go until he found the blessing. That’s how he grew into the elder who could hold blessing and bitterness in a single moment.

Hosea says we can all go to Beit El and speak with the messengers.

How much are we like Jacob? In his youth, Jacob asked for protection; in mid-life, he wrestled; and in the end, he received the ability to bless.

Were Jacobs expectations met?

Are our expectations met?

 

— Image: “Relativity” by M.C. Escher, www.wikipedia.org

— Sources: Discussion in three classes (ALEPH rabbinic program “Losing God, Finding God”; Or Shalom & Melton “Modern Jewish Thought: Theological Debates”; JPS Haftorah Commentary by Michael Fishbane; Haftorahman online aka Reuben Ebrahimoff; Babylonia Talmud Berachot 5 (discussion of yisurin shel ahavah); Franz Rosenzweig, The Star of Redemption.