Or Shalom signed on to be a mini “book club” discussing Karen Armstrong’s Twelve Steps to A Compassionate Life.

At our first club meeting, we discussed Armstrong’s first three chapters. We shared definitions of compassion from different religious traditions. We noted they first arose as social teachings in times of violence. We recognized compassion at work in our social circles.

But the definitions seemed to trigger anxieties and doubts. “What if I don’t want to be considerate of everyone? Should I really treat a political mass murderer as I would want to be treated? MIght not my integrity, self-esteem, and inner resources be drained? How can I create good boundaries in the face of endless demands?”

These are important questions…and yet they seemed to block our willingness to enter the book’s world. We glimpsed a journey into compassion, and our worries immediately raised up roadblocks.

Our minds seemed a microcosm of the Jewish literary image of the heavenly court. In that motif, a person stands at a crossroads. Healing, death or a change of luck may be imminent. Life’s direction is momentarily suspended. During that pause, heaven gets busy. An angelic defence attorney lists all the person’s worthy qualities. An angelic prosecutor lists negative qualities. God the Judge sits in the middle, deciding the person’s fate.

During our class discussion, our own minds played the role of both angelic attorneys. The angel of defence said, “Yes, you can be more compassionate!” The prosecuting angel said, “Oh no you can’t, there are too many exclusions and limitations!”

But another Jewish teaching reminds us not to take the image of the heavenly court literally. Heaven is not a place where long-lived angels pursue humanoid careers. What we call an “angel” is more like a messenger. Each angel is created to carry a single message that fulfills a single purpose. As soon as the purpose is fulfilled, the angel dissipates.

You might say the drama of judgment inside our minds is like a play of angels. Our inner prosecutor blurts out a message…and then it dissipates. Our inner defender does the same. And we sit in the middle, choosing how and to what we will pay attention.

So, at the second meeting, we talked about paying attention. And we began by bypassing the judging mind and moving straight into the personal heart.

With the following prayerful visualization, each of us explored internally our own boundaries around compassion:

Get comfortable. Breathe, relax. Think each of these phrases with intention: May I live in safety. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.

Visualize someone you like very much. Think each of these phrases with intention: May you live in safety…

Visualize someone you are neutral about. Think each of these phrases with intention: May you…

Visualize someone you dislike. Think each of these phrases with intention: May you…

Come back to yourself. Think each of these phrases with intention: May I… 

Breathe, relax; open your eyes when you are ready.

And then I asked: What is mindfulness?

Class members answered, sharing their personal practices:

• Being aware, through my own reactions, of what other people need.
• Keeping the focus on a path of self-development.
• Noticing when my personal emotional crap negatively affects my behaviour.
• Being aware of simple things like the good food offered at a meal.
• Actively appreciating what I have in life.
• Continuously examining my life and motives, in the tradition of Socrates.
• Making sure I actually “see” when I “look.”
• Reflecting on how my actions impact others.

I asked a follow-up question: How do these practices develop compassion?

Answers from the class wove into a powerful teaching:

• The purpose is to be mindful of self in relation to others.
• Practice mindfulness by yourself; then become able to practice in the presence of others.
• Start your practice with yourself as a reference point, then move outwards.
• Step outside of yourself and see what goes on.
• Become aware of when, where, and how you make judgments.
• If you have a diminished sense of compassion for yourself, then you may have it for others.
• Allow your practice to take you from “insight” — seeing what goes on inside — to “sight” — seeing what truly happens around you.

Image: Scott Jones comforts his girlfriend Alexandra Thomas, who was injured during the June 2011 hockey riot in Vancouver. Prayerful visualization: a hybrid of two exercises Armstrong offers from Buddhist tradition.