Should we name our ancestral mothers, the matriarchs or Imahot in formal prayer? Specifically, in the Amidah, the standing silent meditation? The answer, I’ve always believed, is yes. So, I never thought it would be controversial—until I arrived in Vancouver, Canada in 2005.

The Mothers Are Controversial

A few weeks after I arrive in Vancouver, a teacher at the fledgling non-denominational King David High School calls me. “Please come in and speak to grades ten, eleven, and twelve,” she says. “Speak about any topic. Maybe about tefillah (prayer).”

So I come prepared with some copies of the first few blessings of the Amidah. I’m ready to talk about ancestors, miracles, and Divine Presence. Then, the students read the first line of the version I have brought. “Bless you, Adonai, Our God and God of our Fathers and Mothers.” The classroom goes crazy. A vocal and rather rowdy group of boys does not like the word “Mothers.”

I’m surprised, but hardly shaken; I have a lot of experience teaching older teens. So I turn the class into a kind of structured debate. First, I call on three students to speak in favour of including the Mothers. Next, three against. Then, we keep alternating.  The class is lively and the students are well-spoken. They just need a little prompting to remember to raise their hands. Honestly, I think it goes well.

As I am leaving the building, the teacher hurries to catch me. She apologizes for the students’ rudeness. A few minutes later, the principal emails me. He thanks me for fostering the kind of critical thinking that the school really needs. A week later, I learn more about the impact of my lesson. On Friday night, one of the students, leads tefillah (prayer) at the egalitarian Conservative Synagogue. Before the Amidah, he speaks passionately about how important it is to name the mothers in prayer. And, finally, a few months later, the teacher sends me a lovely gift from Israel. It’s a book of old and new prayers by, for, and about women, called Tefilat Nashim.

Why Include the Mothers?

At Or Shalom Synagogue, we always include the Imahot in the first blessing of the Amidah. These women had starring roles in our Biblical history. We do not want to hide their stories. We value women in our own public and personal lives. They are our spiritual guides and teachers. So, we want to declare that they are welcomed and honoured in synagogue. Traditionally, the first paragraph of the Amidah is called the Avot, the patriarchs. But we feel equally indebted to the matriarchs. Thus, we consider it a self-conscious ethical act to acknowledge the Mothers. We prefer to pray the Avot v’Imahot.

Is it kosher to change the Amidah?

Conservative movement discussions find their answers in Rambam’s (Moses Maimonides) Mishneh Torah. People who don’t want to include the Imahot cite one passage. There, Rambam says you can’t change the opening blessings of the Amidah. People who do want to include the Imahot cite a different passage. Here, Rambam says that you can deviate from fixed prayer. It’s fine, as long as you speak of God’s ineffable Name and Kingship, and use words consistent with the theme of the prayer.

Let’s go with the passage that seems to approve of Amidah innovation. And let’s also keep in mind a principle of prayer-poetry. The skilled paytan (poet) weaves together Biblical quotations and ideas to create a new expression.

Are Mothers consistent with the theme? 

The opening theme of the Amidah is spiritual ancestors. Are the biblical Imahot our spiritual ancestors?

Some people say no, they are not. The Torah speaks of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. But it never refers to the God of any female lineage. Thus, they say, Torah, identifies these men as our spiritual fathers. But it does not identify these women as our spiritual mothers.

Other people say yes, they are. The prophet Jeremiah clearly identifies Rachel as our spiritual mother. Rachel, he says, weeps for her children, the exiled Judeans. Jeremiah’s image inspired the Talmudic sages to speak of the lineage of mothers of the Jewish people.

Which mothers should be named?

Talmud identifies Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah as the matriarchs. But what about Bilhah and Zilpah, who served Rachel and Leah as surrogate mothers? On the one hand, they are biological mothers of Israelite tribes. It should not matter that they were household slaves. After all, the entire Israelite people were once enslaved in Egypt. So, some say, Bilhah and Zilpah should also be named in prayer.

Others disagree. The Torah, they say, tells us nothing at all about the spiritual lives of Bilhah and Zilpah. So we don’t know if they shared Rachel’s and Leah’s faith. Thus we don’t even know what it might mean to talk about the God of Bilhah and God of Zilpah.

Name them as wives or in their own right? 

Some say we should pair the women’s names with their husbands’ names. Thus: Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob Rachel and Leah. The women’s stories are essential to their husbands’ stories. Without the women, their husbands would not have grown spiritually/

But others say each woman’s spirituality stands alone. Each one had her own relationship with God. In Pharaoh’s harem, for example, God acts on Sarah’s word. Rebecca asks God about her pregnancy and receives a response. Rachel and Leah name their children based on their evolving relationships with God. And the women do, in fact, have their own family lineage. They are all related as aunts and nieces.

Name Rachel or Leah first?

Some vote for Leah. She was Jacob’s legal first wife, so her name should come first.

Others vote for Rachel. Whenever the Torah describes the two speaking or acting in unison, Rachel’s name comes first. Torah’s wording is deliberate. Rachel is a gifted younger sibling, struggling for leadership within the family – just like most of Torah’s of male heroes.

How to describe God’s relationship to Sarah?

The traditional Avot prayer ends with a blessing specifically thanking God, the Shield of Abraham. In the Torah, that’s how God describes their relationship.

Modern liturgists also want to thank God for God’s relationship with Sarah. So, they have experimented with different ways to name it. Some speak of God as Ezrat Sarah, Sarah’s helper. This phrase works well poetically. It echoes language from the previous line: God “who helps, saves, and shields.” However, ezrat Sarah does not reflect any Torah phrase.

Other prayer writers have thanked God for being Po’ked Sarah, the one who remembers Sarah. This phrase does echo a biblical motif: God remembers , pakad, Sarah, and she becomes pregnant. Some writers love the verb po’ked, because it is used when God remembers someone at a momentous historical time. But others writers dislike the verb poked, because sometimes it describes God remembering transgressions. And they don’t wish to imply, God forbid, that God remembers Sarah’s transgressions.

So, how best to honour the Mothers?

What do we actually do at Or Shalom? We use different versions at different times. Occasionally, we teach about the unique message of each version. This process of experiment and discussion nothing new. In fact, it is exactly how our now-fixed prayers came to be. As Rabbi Daniel Siegel says, “Jewish Renewal is very traditional—just like our ancestors did, we create new prayers.”

— Image: Pinar & Viola, windows made for Amstelveen’s Beth Shalom Synagogue, the Netherlands, www.blend.nl. Sources include: Dr. Ilana Pardes, Rabbi David Golinkin, Rabbi Joel E. Rembaum, Brian Weinstein.