Death of a Cat

Death of a Cat
Koi and Not-Koi

“Mom, mom, mom, mom,” says Eli. “Not-Koi is in front of our house and he’s not moving.”

Not-Koi is a neighbor, a yellow tabby cat, a long-time friend of our yellow tabby Koi. The two cats look so much alike, that we simply call them Koi and Not-Koi.

“He’s really elderly,” I say. “He’s really deaf. You can walk right by him and he won’t move.”

“Mom, I think this is different. He’s, like, really not moving.”

I come outside to see Not-Koi lying peacefully on his side, eyes open. He is not moving at all, not even breathing.

He’s wearing his signature light fabric collar. Gently I remove it, hoping to find a phone number. There it is, barely legible, in fading permanent marker.

The number rings ten times. No answer. I phone again. Straight to voice mail. I phone again. This time, a sleepy voice answers. “Hello?”

“Are you the owner of an elderly yellow tabby?” I ask.

“Yellow taxi?” He sounds confused.

“Tabby. Cat.”


“He appears to have passed away peacefully in our yard.”

“I’ll be over in about an hour.”

Leave a corpse lying for an hour in the hot summer sun? No.

“I’m going to wrap him in a towel and bring him inside. There are lots of bugs out here.”

“What is your address? Will someone be home?”

“Sophia Street. Yes, we’ll be home.”

Not-Koi’s rigid body and heavy weight surprise me. I wrap him in a white towel; lay him in white laundry basket; place his collar carefully on top.

A text message arrives: I’m heading over now. Be there in 5 minutes or less — Marc.

A young man stands at the door, cat carrier in hand. “I’m Marc.”

“I’m Laura. I’m so sorry. His name is Auto?”


“He’s been coming to our yard for about two years. He’s friends with our cats.”

“Yeah, he got sick about a year ago.”

“Thyroid condition?” I’d noticed his weight loss; fed his hunger.


“He’s not been hearing so well, either.”

“We noticed that,” Marc says.

He reaches for the tiny cat carrier, but I stop him. “It’s pretty recent, so he’s still stiff. Take our laundry basket. It’s just from the dollar store.”

“We just live over on Walden,” he replies.

We want to make conversation, but no words come. Marc takes Auto and goes.

Two hours later, I text a year-old photo of Auto (aka Not-Koi) and Koi.

— Marc, thought you might appreciate this photo of feline friends relaxing together – Laura & family

— Aww. Thanks for that. Sometimes when we saw your cat over here we would call for Auto and realize: oh, that’s ‘Auto-alike’.

— We called Auto “Not-Koi.”

— Haha!

Two hours later, Marc texts again.

—  A token of thanks on your front steps

It’s a huge bouquet of marigolds with a note: Thank you for befriending Auto over the last few years of his life. Thank you for taking such good care of him at his passing. – M. and N.

We don’t have clear rituals for saying goodbye to companion animals, but Marc and I did the best we could. Emergency response. White shroud. Photo swap. Story sharing. Flowers. Condolences.

My friend Heidi, a specialist in geriatric health care, commented on Auto’s passing. I remember Not-Koi, she texted. I’m sure he knew what he was doing.

Join us November 2-3 2016 for a conference called “The End of Life: Dying, Suicide, Death” at the Simon Fraser University Institute for the Humanities, Vancouver.

  1. Most germane in our lives with the recent loss of Eve, our sweet nut-brown guinea pig, and the impending loss in our home of my mother-in-law, Peg. Most thoughtful. -Lorraine

  2. Hello Laura, Not Koi’s parents ( the human ones) would have felt so incredibly thankful for your care and kindness. . I think leaving Not Koi in the sun would have been awful. I have a friend in Naramata, the interior, who has had horses for over 25 years. Each time one of the horses pass away, they dig a whole on her property and bury it with respect. How you wrapped it was so beautiful…..if they have a spirit/soul and they transition somewhere, Not Koi would have known your tenderness.

    1. Thanks, Jessica. Thanks for the story about your rural friends. Not-Koi (Auto) was a calm, gracious cat, a nice match for Koi’s temperament.

  3. Very touching to think about the friendship of these two cats with two names each. I wonder what they called each other? Peace to Auto.

    1. Thanks, Julie. It’s a good question. Koi even invited Auto into our house.

  4. thank you for this lovely story which is a beautiful expression of how a little kindness can matter a great deal. There seems to be so much discouraging news and behaviour lately, I appreciated this story as a gentle way to start my day and remind me of hope. I hope you and your family are staying well, Laura

    1. Thank you, Kim. Yes, I agree, it is really important to notice and amplify the ways we can be kind to one another. Stay safe and well!

  5. You story was so lovely and I think Marc was blessed that it was to your family that Not-Koi visited. It is always so hard to loose a pet I am still mourning my dear dog who died in September of last year. What is particularly wonderful about this story is that two families were brought together because of a common love for God’s creatures.

    1. Margaret, thank you for this beautiful comment. A dog is a wonderful companion and it hurts a lot to lose such a bright light of love. I’m glad your love of God’s creatures brought you to this post.

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